Majickal Poetry

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Here is a collection of my poetry ... Make yourself

comfortable and read away ...

I hope you like it ::smile::

Ocean of Guilt

You look into my eyes

I can see your soul ...

You see the darkness within me, trying to run

away

And I try to cry out to you

To make you want me,

To make you need me like I need you,

I'm not like you, I need someone

To help me,

To hold me,

To protect me,

To guide me through ...

My thoughts of you I keep in my mind

Locked up in a safe ...

Safe ? No - nothing is ever safe ...

I pray you can't see through

For I would die inside if you did

The blackness surrounding me would grow

An ocean of hopes, thoughts, memories,

Your voice, your touch, just you ...

I know you ...

But somehow you don't know me - and you

never will

No one will - I can't let it happen

But maybe ...

Someday you will grow to love me...

As I have always loved you ...

The Lie Of Love

When I learned tomorrow never came

I knew it would bring more and more shame ...

Your famiily asked me to go through your things

All the memories back I knew it would bring ...

Your love meant so very much

I could barely wait for your touch

But then one fine day

When we were both so happy and so gay,

You told me our love was growing old

We both became so indifferent and so cold

You said the love we had would never break -

But still my heart began to ache

I wish I knew now

What later you came to tell me somehow

As the years began to go

The love you felt you would never show,

I began to ask why and why

You pretended to let our love die ...

Did you think I would wait ?

And around my heart place a gate ?

I finally began to look and look

But the recipe of love just never seemed to cook

Your love more and more I began to miss

And I waited and yearned for that special kiss

I always thought of you

No one else would ever do ...

Our love we felt we kept inside

We thought time we just could bide

I eventually found someone new

But he seemed never to replace you ...

Finally on that same day much later, you told me

of your feelings -

I was not yet done healing,

I thought my feelings I could hide until the

morrow

And like a river flows unleash my sorrow

The very next day you did die -

How could we ever have lived such a lie ?

We loved with all our hearts

But forever now until Heaven will we be apart ...

Searching Machine

I look up at the stars and think silently ...

Seeing your face, breathing your life

You enter me in your own way ...

Dancing through my dreams and nightmares

I wonder ...

Chances ...

Situation after damning situation

All the thought, all the memories

I still see you

And you still see me

I know I enter your thoughts from time to time

Time after time, I think

Thinking - something I wish I never did or could

never do, maybe ...

I think in silence and in screams

Screaming your name, you calling my every

thought

You yearn for me - I can see it in your eyes

But you never seem to see what is always

in front of your face, right ?

I could give you so much -

Even if I got very little in return

Something I never had anyways

And I realize I will never have ...

I take your hand and you enter me

Intercourse in its own way

You in your own way and I in mine ...

Losing ... always, and never losing ...

Restless Thoughts

On my mind you were right there,

Right there all the time ...

I tried and tried though now I can't see why

All I can do is sit and cry

You say you love me ...

You say you care ...

But sometimes I wonder if it is all really there

I guess I should just give up

But my heart says no

I wish all the pain away to make it go -

I shared my secrets, my hopes, my fears

All of it for nothing ...

Why do I keep this going ?

I try not to give up, but you make it so hard

I finally have come to realize

I should just move on and forget ...

So as the last tear slides down my cheek ...

I just want to erase the pain and find what I seek

But ...

It's all just restless thoughts ...

What Might Have Been

What might have been

May never have been at all

You keep thinking and searching

But still no answers appear

You ask yourself ...

What do I really feel ?

And things just seem to go grey

You lose yourself in a deep well of blackness

And yet you still go on ...

You know it can not and will never be

You have moved on and so has he

But the feelings never die,

They just fade away with time

You know who you love and realize it will last

But still you wonder what might have been

And you think in silence

May it never have been at all ?

Motionless

Sad, delirious cryings,

Behind thousands by eternity's shroud ...

Beneath God,

Together you have the time

Needful death and blood ?

A never frantic-like whispering ...

I will have bitter powers above you

See, moan, chant life and manipulate

Worship the sordid, sweet void

Stare into the blackness

Let man recall, though it is so easy to run

Like her repulsive crush,

One spray near it, hitting the raw, ugly

symphony

Our flooding winds and skies, like from my sea

Yet say not like the one true friend,

Who may not leave me after

But will always ask to stay ...

Love

Love ...

It makes you hurt

It makes you cry

Love ...

It makes you happy

And sometimes even sad

Love ...

What makes love grow ?

And how can it continue on for an eternity ?

Love ...

How do you hold onto your feelings ?

And how are you sure that it is all really there ?

Love ...

It makes you think and it makes you learn

With love there are no questions and no answers

With love you just seem to know ...

Difference

Looking back on those memories

I wonder why it all even mattered

I spent my days thinking,

"What did I do wrong ?"

And other thoughts enter my mind,

"How could I have saved it ?"

And the tears, so many, fall down like rain

I guess it was the fact I cared a little too much

And I find I definitely expected too much in return

All I wanted was some of your time

And of course a little love

I listened to what you said

And took those three special words for granted

All I ever wanted was your honesty

But no, that was never possible

And I suppose it was something I never deserved

So I will whisper my last goodbye

And make the memories fade back into time ...

My All

You always bring me up when I am down

And you always seem to know how to

wipe away my frown

You have restored my trust

Being with you is now a total must

You were there when I needed you

And I hope you always know

that I am here for you too

I love you with all of my heart

And I pray to God that we will never part

I know sometimes I can be insecure

But I have your love -

I have never been so sure

I can not seem to get you out of my mind

I honestly do not know how you can be so kind

I know we are far apart in distance

But that does not

And will never decrease my love's existance

So until the day I can hold you close

So you can finally see

I hope and pray